September 2011
20 posts
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clientsfromhell:
Me: “And what version of Windows are you using?”
He: “Look, pal. I know two things about this fucking computer. I paid a lot of fucking money for it, and it doesn’t fucking work.”
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I am legally obliged to offer you a lunch break, but if you were dedicated to...
– From a boss who offers no sick pay and the minimum legal requirement for holidays. (via clientsfromhell)
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Elliott: You're getting audited? Oh, you shoulda used my guy. He's a creepy little weasel who knows every little loophole and gets a sexual thrill outta cheating the feds.
Nina: Who is he?
Finch: Me.
Nina: Are you really that good?
Finch: Last year the government paid me 20 grand not to grow corn.
Nina: You're hired.
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The government hates rappers. You know why I say that? Because they don’t...
– Chris Rock
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Larry: Do you know what people say when you guys leave the room?
Jeff: What? What do they say?
Larry: Poor bastard.
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… So it went over to grape — who’s doing quite well. And he...
– Gary Gulman
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O’Reilly publicist Mary Rotman spent her afternoon today at a local senior...
– O’Reilly Media
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To tell you the truth, whenever I see a woman who’s happy, she’s...
– Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiam
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If I don’t feel fresh, I can’t make the sales.
– grail